Sunday, September 30, 2007

Why you REALLY aren't making a connection


Why you can't connect...


The first thing to learn about online dating is that you are not writing a resume so you can get a job...
...You are trying to make a connection with a person to fall in love with (or at least go on a date and have sex with).

Now think about every resume that you’ve ever read... Have any of them made you think, “Damn, I want to meet this person?” No, they haven’t, and for one very good reason... They don’t engage your imagination, nor convey who you really are.

Engaging someone is crucial in getting them to be interested in you. The easiest way to start doing this is to change your writing style. Most people sadly do write their dating profiles just like they would a resume; a boring, bland list of achievements, education, experiences, and adjectives about themselves. It’s enough to put anyone to sleep.

To engage her, write to her as if you were in a conversation with her. Consider the subtle but important differences between the two following paragraphs:


“Hello. Thanks for looking at my profile. I’ve included my
photos at the bottom, check them out. Please let me know what you think. I look forward to hearing back from you.”
And...


“Hey you! Yeah, I know you are going to go look at my photos first before reading my profile. No, no, it’s fine... I’ll wait... Hum dee dum... Ok you are back now? Great! While you keep reading the rest of my profile, I’m going to go make a sandwich. I’ll check back in near the end so I can explain that picture of me in a monkey suit.”

The difference between the two should be glaringly obvious. The second paragraph is written as if the writer is speaking to her in a conversation. This forces her imagination to kick in and makes her feel as if she is really talking to you, rather than just reading word after word.

This is also a great way of conveying your true personality to her! Most profiles read so blankly, that someone who shows an ounce of personality will stand out from the crowd. If you write in a fun and playful tone, she will know you are a fun and playful person!

Always write in your true personality (a PG-rated version anyway)
  • Talk like a real person
  • Convey your character
  • Engage her in a conversation
  • Be funny - if you can

That's all for today, have a great week!

Dylan