Thursday, March 5, 2009

Online dating profile writing tips: Make your descriptions LIKE DARTS

Have you ever thrown a dart that didn’t have a pointed tip?
Like you unscrew the weighted sharp metal tip, and just toss the feathered shaft?
Wanna know what happens?

It bounces off the target.

Now stick that pointed tip back on there and BOOM! It sinks deep into the target and stays.

So what’s my, um... point?

Your online dating profile descriptions need to have a pointed tip, so they stick in the reader’s mind. And how do you do this? Images.

Each thing you decide should be illustrated by a story or example (this is the weighted part of the dart) that contains ONE KEY IMAGE (this is the pointed tip of the dart).

See, people remember images much better than they remember anything else. So if you want to describe in your dating profile the trait of loyalty (the feathered shaft of the dart), then you need to illustrate it with an example (the weighted head of the dart that gives it heft), and, here is the critical part... that illustrated example must have one key image (the sharp point that sticks in the target).

An example? Sure.

Let’s say I wanted people reading my online dating profile on Craigslist to know that I was athletic.

Stage one, the feathers of the dart: “I’m athletic.”
Ok, that defines the direction you are going, but is going to fall flat instantly.

Stage two, add the weight: “I work out at the gym every week.”
Ah, that will make it fly a lot further.

Stage three, add the sharp point: “Sure my dingy green gym always seems to be filled with sweaty wrinkly old people, but I still work out every week.”
That image, although not the prettiest ever, will stick. They will forget that you are athletic, they will forget that you work out every week... but they will not forget your dingy green gym full of sweaty wrinkly old people!

You can overuse this technique!
You are NOT writing a cheesy romance novel. Don’t add 4 syllable adjectives and adverbs to everything you talk about. This is lame and makes you look like a sleezebag. One key trait = one key image, no more! And don't write cheese.

For example, this is BAD:
“You can find me at the gym, panting hotly as my huge thick biceps pump cold hard steel up and down, up and down, until my long hair falls over my eyes and sweat drips down my bulging smooth chest.”
I’m obviously writing to men here. I’ve never seen a woman write anything like that ever, but I’m sure it would be a hit. ;)

Cheers and happy dating in ’09!


PS. Just so you know, the image of you looking down on old people may make you look shallow, and might only draw shallow narcissists who also look down on wrinkly old people, to your profile. Use at your own risk.


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Tracy said...

Thanks for the post Dylan some interesting points. I was looking for a dating agency london way and joined as they have a section that caters for london daters. I have had some fun dates, but I am still waiting for Mr Right to show up.

jenny said...

Great posts! personal ads is one of the biggest factors when you enter in the world of online dating. Make sure you have a standout personal ads to draw second attentions.

Lance said...

Great tips you got there very useful. Thank you!

Jon said...

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Karim El-Ahmadi said...

Great metaphor, make your points like darts. All it took for me is to see one sentence in my fiancee's profile description that really struck a chord with me. Before that, I was ready to click off. Reading one resonating point really had me lovestruck. There's an art to this game.

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