Online Dating Mistake #83953 that you make...

File this one under "Common Online Dating Mistakes You Don't Know You Do"

So I'm sitting having an afternoon drink with a girl, and she says out of the blue...
"Dylan, you think you know everything there is to know about online dating... tell me why guys keep asking for more and more of my pictures?"

I do this brutal honesty/tough love thing really well, and come back with "It's either because they want to make sure you aren't 50lbs heavier than you said you were, or they are just adding them to their porno collection."

She admits that suspected more of the latter, and then proceeded to tell me how once a guy asked for more than 2 of her online dating photos, or asked for photos above and beyond her profile photos, she would red flag them and quit talking to them on the spot.

And now how this applies to you...

This may or may not come as a surprise, but there are a lot of guys out there who simply collect pictures of women, with no real intention of ever asking them out on a date.

For whatever perverted purpose or insecure need it fills, they email women simply asking for more and more photos, even if they have none themselves. During chats they keep asking for new pictures, sexier pictures, pictures where she is wearing bathing suits, and... surprise, surprise... nude pictures.

Women --hate-- these guys. They completely waste their time and frankly, most women hate the idea of perverts drooling over the pictures that they tricked them into sending.

Here's the online dating photo etiquette you need to stay safe:

1) Don’t ask for her photos until you’ve sent her yours.

2) Don’t refuse to send her photos if she asks for them, demanding she show you hers first.

3) Once you have her photos, don’t ask for more until you are a few emails in, or after a good chat, unless you really can’t see her very well in them (which usually means she’s hiding something).

4) Don’t ask if she has any sexier photos (unless you are well into a sexual conversation).

5) If she has a close-up of her face only, and you want to see a body shot to make sure she is the body type you are looking for (which is your right!) be tactful about it. Don’t say “lemme see your bod!”

6) If you do want to see more photos of her, wait until she’s brought up a topic such as a trip or a pet and say, “Wow, I’d love to see a picture of that!” If she doesn’t you can ask again, but never ask more than twice per conversation otherwise she might think you are one of those picture perves.


It sucks that there are guys out there who are simply using and manipulating women to get some minor trophy. It hurts the women, and it spoils the playing field for the rest of us. Be good to the girls out there.

Well, that's your online dating advice for today. Use it well!

Dylan Alexander

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