Online Dating Photo Advice - How to have a great dating photo

How to have a great online dating photo...

Online dating photos are important, but you know this already. You know that a profile with a photo gets opened 8x more than one without. You know that an email with a photo attached gets read first. There’s no question about those things anymore, that’s old news. What I really want you to understand is the power of having a GREAT photo.

Everyone has photos these days, but fortunately, most people still use bad photos. A bad photo can make you look terrible, no matter how hot you are in real life. A great photo will attract people, no matter what you look like.

Amongst the adventures I’ve had in life, one of them was working as a professional photographer. I now shoot only for sport, but am happy to be able to share with you some rules of having a great photo for online dating.

Rule 1: Be well lit
A well lit face jumps out of the picture, a face in shadows hides from the viewer. Believe it or not, this has a huge different on how people interpret your character. If you post a photo of yourself taken in a dark basement without using a flash, you’ll come across as a low energy/low value person. If you are well lit and bright, you’ll come across as high energy/high value (read: FUN) person. No one looks good when they are so underexposed you can’t even see their eyes.

TIP: Use a photo taken outside with natural light, but force your camera flash on (called fill flash) so that it fills out any shadows on your face made by the sun.


Rule 2: Use a real camera
A common trend I see in younger online daters is self portraits taken with cell phone cameras in front of bathroom mirrors, and “at my computer” shots taken with web cams. There are two problems. One is that these settings usually aren’t well lit. The other is that cell phone cameras and web cams produce terrible picture quality. They are grainy noisy pictures that in general make you look bad. To someone who reads between the lines, they make you look too cheap to get a real camera.

TIP: If you don’t own a real digital camera, you have a friend that does. Tell them you need some photos, most people are happy to play amateur photographer with their toys.


Rule 3: Pay attention to the background
People look at everything in your photo, not just you. If your house is a mess, it reflects poorly on you. Women especially notice details, so pay attention guys. If you’ve got a couple empty bottles of vodka in the background, it looks like you party too much. If there are other people in your photo, who they are is going to reflect on you. For women, this means that you might want to reconsider posting photos with your scantily clad girlfriends. For guys, you might want to reconsider posting photos of you and any girl who looks like a girlfriend.

TIP: Since people read into every detail in your photo, you can increase your value by using a photo taken somewhere interesting or cultural. Photos in museums make you look cultured, photos in exotic locations make you look adventurous.


Rule 4: Dress well!
This rule is hugely overlooked. You are judged by your appearance and that includes your clothes. Plus the fact that the right clothes can make someone look considerably more attractive, while improperly fitting or poorly matched clothes will make you look worse. Remember, keep some congruency with who you are. If you never ever wear a suit in real life, you might not want to represent yourself as a suit wearing guy. Girls, if you don’t want guys to think you are promiscuous and easy, don’t post party photos of you wearing revealing clothes.

TIP: Dress to impress. You basically can’t overdress (within good taste) and the better dressed you are, the higher value you will appear.


Rule 5: Eye Contact
Regardless of the setting, one thing you must be doing in your picture is making eye contact with the viewer. If you are getting your picture taken specifically for online dating, look directly into the camera lens every time (unless for artistic reasons the photo absolutely demands otherwise). You’ve heard this before and it’s definitely cliché, but... your eyes are a window into your soul... even over the internet. People need to make that connection with you in order to be attracted to you. When they can’t see your eyes, there will be a level of intimacy lacking in your picture, and that is something that is crucial for building attraction.

TIP: Make sure your eyes are visible and not in the shadows. See Rule 1.
TIP: Take off the sunglasses for your photos. You aren’t Bono or Jennifer Lopez and as much as you believe it does, it doesn’t make you look cool or famous. At best it blocks that critical eye connection, at worst it makes you look insecure.


Three more tips!
1) ALWASY INCLUDE YOUR PHOTOS! Despite how common it is, we are all still a little afraid of being recognized internet dating, and thus we never want to send our photos out first. But the people who let their photos be seen by all get the best responses. When you don’t send a photo the only thing you get is ignored! One of the most common things people write in their profiles is “no pic, no reply,” and yet they haven’t even posted a photo of themselves first!

2) Don't forget to SMILE IN YOUR PHOTOS! Your smile is one of the greatest natural ways to seduce someone online. You can read a blog entry about that here:
http://onlinecasanova.blogspot.com/2007/10/greatest-aphrodisiac.html

3) Another option (and arguably your best option) is to simply HIRE A PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER. You can read my blog entry about that here:
http://onlinecasanova.blogspot.com/2007/11/how-to-get-great-online-dating-photo.html

Happy Online Dating!

Dylan Alexander

PS. If you have online dating questions, or want to know something specific about attracting women online, feel free to email me through the link on the right.