Online Dating Tips - The Opening Paragraph!

Online dating profile tips are great and profile writing help for internet dating is easy to give...

But if someone doesn’t read your whole profile, what’s the point? Today, we’re going to focus right down on the opening paragraph, and how to build it so the reader gets sucked into your profile.

We start with a question:

***QUESTION***
Hey Mr. Online Casanova
I’ve been following your newsletter and advice for a while now and finally bought the Online Casanova book last week. Totally awesome. Each chapter was like a giant “aha!” moment! The strategies you gave me let me look at online dating in a whole new light, and I’ve re-written my profile from scratch.

One question for you though, in Online Casanova you talk a lot about representing your masculine value, and creating images. I think I’ve nailed the masculine value, but not sure really how to wok in images. Can you take a look at my profile and give me some feedback? Just want to make sure I’m on the same track.

Thanks! "
Berle, Vancouver, Canada

“It’s a beautiful day, skies are blue, and birds are chirping. I hope you find yourself in an equally good mood. So who am I? I come from a long line of white water rafters. My family has a tour company up in ******. While I work as a writer in the city most of the year, I take the summers off to go work as a guide on their boats. Yes I get some crazy pleasure out of pushing the boat past its limits, and watching tourists hang on for dear life!”

***Note: for space, I’ve just included the first paragraph*** -Dylan

***MY REPLY***

Berle!
For starters, thanks for buying the book, and thanks for writing. It’s always good to get feedback. Sure, I’d love to take a look at your profile, but for the sake of length in the newsletter, I’m only going to tackle the first paragraph here.

I’m glad to see you were paying attention, you’ve certainly got a way better opener than most people write. You write “in character”, presenting some personality, and speaking to the reader directly. You also display a very interesting slice of your life, one that most outdoorsy types will jump at (hell, I think it’s pretty cool too!) You also display a family connection, which is very important, and some very masculine traits too (guiding, keeping people safe, etc...)

So what is missing from this opening paragraph? As you suspected... images. Images are critically important in your profile because they give the reader a visual representation of what you are talking about.

IMAGES GET REMEMBERED!

Images also make a connection to the subconscious that triggers emotional reactions, creating... gasp... feelings!

For anyone who hasn’t read Online Casanova, there is an entire chapter just for creating feelings through images. Check it out at:
www.onlinecasanova.com/secrets.php


Back to Berle’s profile!
Besides images, there are a few other changes I’d make. First, I’d trim the fat just a little, as your profile doesn’t really take the reader anywhere until about the fourth sentence. Remember, reading your profile should be like a great road trip, every stop should bring new and exciting things. Never stand still fluffing it along.

And finally, I’d dose it with a little humor. Humor is critical in the first paragraph. If you can make someone laugh at the start, they will read everything you write, wanting more. They will also be more receptive to your words, as you’ve altered their emotional state for the better.

So let me take a little shot at re-writing the opening paragraph.

Headline: “Skies are Blue, Birds are Chirping, and the Water is White and Roaring!”

Profile:

“Wait, let me explain the white water!
My parents have a white water rafting company up in ******, and rafting has been in our family for generations. While I thrive in the heart of downtown as a writer during the dark parts of the year, I take the summers off to head up into the mountains to work as a guide on the family boats. Every weekend from June to August, you’ll find me between the oars of a giant yellow raft, a dozen city slickers hanging on for dear life, like ants on a stick, as I slam us all through white waves high over our heads. Do I get some twisted thrills out of scaring them? Absolutely! But they keep coming back... and I haven’t lost a single one... this week!”

So what did I do differently?
- First, I started with a headline that reflects the topic of the first paragraph. You want to keep everything flowing, and flowing from the headline into the profile will certainly help readers keep paying attention.

- The first line “Wait, let me explain...” is to get their curiosity. If you tells the readers “pay attention, because something cool is coming!” ...they will.

- I cut away everything and just jumped into the opening topic of rafting, just to keep it flowing quickly.

- I’ve kept everything about the family and guiding but tossed a few extra descriptive words in there, like “thrive in the heart of downtown” to give a value adding twist, “generations” for adding depth to the family and “dark parts of the year” for adding mood and contrast.

- I added a big descriptive sentence about rafting, being between the oars on a yellow raft, ants on a stick, white waves overhead, etc.. These visuals are short but very strong, and really help the reader picture and remember you.

-Finally, I added a dose of humor in the last line. “haven’t lost anyone... this week!” While it isn’t laugh out loud funny, it’s good for a smile and lets the reader know you have a sense of humor.

And that’s how you write a solid opening paragraph that draws readers in... and keeps them there! Back that up with 4 more paragraphs that display value, create connections, build comfort, and you’re pretty much guaranteed a full inbox of emails every day.

If you’ve gotten some value out of this, take a minute to go check out my website:
http://www.onlinecasanova.com/
It has resources and articles on online dating that are leaps and bounds above the normal cheap advice you get for free on MSN and other “advice sites” that just rehash the same old boring rules. You can also preview chapters from my ebook there as well!

That’s it for today.

Cheers!

Dylan Alexander

PS. Don’t forget to take my Online Dating Aptitude Test here:
www.onlinecasanova.com/quiz.php

Does Double Your Dating Work Online

"Does Double Your Dating Work Online?"
Best online dating headline I've written in a long while!

Sorry for the bait 'n switch, but this topic is about headlines, not Cocky/Funny!

I was skimming Plenty Of Fish recently, saw a Google Adword ad for Double Your Dating (an excellent book on dating for men by David DeAngelo) and had some inspiration. I popped on Craigslist, my site of choice for testing out new headlines, since readers don't get to see a thumbnail of your pic, just your headline only, and put up a quick profile.

I tried the following variations:

"Double Your Dating Scam"
"I just read Double Your Dating"
"Does Double Your Dating Work On Women"
and a bunch of others... with mild results.

"Does Double Your Dating Work Online" was the only one that pulled strong results, just because it grabs people's sense of curiosity! Of course, you've got to back it up with a fantastic opening paragraph, as your are essentially pulling a bait & switch on them (oops, like I did with you!) This is where you'd lose most readers, so your content has to be great.

Now, I should point out, Double Your Dating is a solid book for men who are getting back into the dating scene. I don't have any business ties to them, so you'll have to go find it on your own. :p

And finally... you never know what is going to make an excellent headline! Look for opportunity everywhere.

Check out my main site for further details about creating knockout headlines that suck people into reading your online dating profile.
http://www.onlinecasanova.com

Happy dating!

Dylan Alexander

Great Online Dating Headlines

Great online dating headlines can go a long way to getting you results!

Usually I try to give you techniques or tactics that can help you improve your online dating skill. This week, I’m just going to feed you a handful of my favorite headlines, ones that have worked well for me in the past. Because I do a lot of dating on Craigslist, where readers ONLY see your headline, not your photo, I’ve spent a lot of time coming up with unique ones. I’m sharing some variations of my favorites from last year with you now. Use them at will. Enjoy!


“Help! Trapped on a deserted island, please send the following supplies:”
This headline snags readers due to its uniqueness, but be careful not to follow it up with just a list or they will get bored quickly.

“I’m trying to decide between these two photos, need your opinion!”
Yes, opinion openers sometimes work well as headlines! Just make sure you back it up with some great photos. This also works well in getting women to talk to you even if you have a weak profile.

Oh, if you want 8 ways to make a great online dating photo, here's my full article:

http://www.onlinecasanova.com/online-dating-photo-tips

“I know the difference between THEIR, THERE and THEY’RE!”
Quality women are sick of guys who write poorly. Talk to any intelligent girl online dating, they all like to complain about it. This headline will get you smart girls, just proofread the hell out of your profile or you will lose them just as quickly.

“RE: RE: RE: Searching For The Perfect Guy in this city!”
Ok, this is a little trick that works great on Craigslist... People always read anything that starts with “Re:” because it looks like you are replying to someone else’s post. Replies like this are often flamers ripping on bad posts... and everyone loves some drama! So yes, you are faking being a reply to another post, but believe me, your profile will get read! You had better open with a great line though.

“Only MORONS believe in The Secret”
Ok, this is RISKY! This will get your profile read by a lot of women (since The Secret is pretty high up on the “chick crack” list). By slamming it, a whole lot of women are going to read what you have to say. I ran my whole profile, then at the end wrote “PS. You are probably waiting for me to say something about why I think The Secret is for morons... The movie fails to point out that positive thinking has to be backed up by hard work, but the masses don’t want to hear that part.. Napoleon Hill’s book is much better.”

Here's my actual full article on using The Secret/The Law Of Attraction in online dating:
http://www.onlinecasanova.com/the-secret-the-law-of-attraction-and-online-dating

There you go! Five new headlines to try that I’m pretty sure you won’t see anywhere out there (although that may change now!) Of course, these headlines will only get someone to look at your profile. From there, you’d better have some solid text and a great photo to finish the job, otherwise you still won’t get any replies. You are only as hot as the weakest link in your profile.

Now, if you want some laughs and some groans, make sure you read my list of the worst online dating headlines:

http://www.onlinecasanova.com/Online-dating-headlines

That’s it for this week, hope you’ve found these online dating tips helpful!

Cheers!

Dylan

PS. You can find my full ebook with all my online dating profile secrets and examples of what has worked for me here: http://www.onlinecasanova.com/books

PPS. If you don’t know, Craigslist is http://www.craigslist.org/ The personal sections for most major North American cities get a ton of traffic, sometimes too much. Anyway, I like it.

WORST HEADLINES EVER!

Ok, I got a few questions about headlines this week, and they were all "what do you think of this headline?"

Sadly, the answer was...

WORST HEADLINE EVER...!

So here's a list of the worst and most common headlines out there...

And what she thinks when she reads them!

HEADLINE: “Insert funny headline here.”
SHE THINKS: “Wow, haven’t seen that a dozen times today already.”
This is the banner of any person lacking any creativity whatsoever. Plus, it wasn’t funny years ago when it appeared in the first place.

HEADLINE: “Clever headline #28492”
SHE THINKS: “Ugh. At least it isn’t ‘insert funny headline here!’”
Headline, yes. Clever, no. Again, almost as used and abused as the above example.

HEADLINE: “how abot diner and drniks”
SHE THINKS: “This guy isn’t smart enough to spell? Or even smart enough to use a spell checker? Goodbye!”
There is NO excuse for spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors in your headline.

HEADLINE: “Love to laugh.“
SHE THINKS: “Duh, who doesn’t?”
So what have you told her besides that you are an average guy? Oh right, you are also unoriginal and uncreative too. Super.

HEADLINE: “Looking for someone special.”
SHE THINKS: “Wow, who isn’t looking for someone special? You think everyone else is looking for losers?”
Everyone is looking for someone special. Just because you are, doesn’t put you in a higher value category than the next guy. Plus everyone uses this tired line.

HEADLINE: “Hmm, I don’t know what to write here.”
SHE THINKS: “Wow, stumped already? Our first date is going to suck.”
This headline is absolutely pathetic and if you can’t even rip off one of the lame ones above, you don’t deserve a date.

HEADLINE: “I need (insert anything needy).”
SHE THINKS: “Needy AND single? Where can I sign up?“
Real men don’t need anything. Neediness is horribly unattractive.

HEADLINE: “I’ll fill this in later.”
SHE THINKS: “Too lazy to come up with a headline? That’s sexy...”
Laziness is a huge turn off for women and a big sign of weakness. This is possibly the worst headline ever... besides the next one.

HEADLINE: “Looking for a girl who won’t hurt me.”
SHE THINKS: “Emotionally broken already? I’m running like hell from this one.”
You aren’t asking for a girl who won’t hurt you, you are scaring off everyone who isn’t carrying emotional baggage. Hugely unattractive.


HEADLINE: “One last try...”
SHE THINKS: “One last try... because you are a multiple time loser? Ouch.”
Never show weakness or failure on the internet, she’ll think it’s 10x worse than it is. Which is usually true.

HEADLINE: “Just looking.”
SHE THINKS: “If you aren’t serious, then why bother?”
What she thinks is accurate. She’s here with a purpose, not to waste her time.

HEADLINE: “Hey Baby”
SHE THINKS: “Hey Baby? HEY BABY? Could you be any more disrespectful?”
A total waste of an opportunity to use a good headline. Oh, and it’s lame.

HEADLINE: “Hello,” or “Hi.”
SHE THINKS: “Um, how about “BYE” instead?”
This is probably the most common headline out there and definitely the most boring. It is completely uncreative and lacking any effort.

There you go. I've got a full list with about a dozen more bad ones, but those are the ones I see the most often. Never ever use any of them again... if not for you, then for me!

Happy dating!

Dylan Alexander

PS. Next week... Best headlines ever?

How to guarantee she'll never read your profile...

Do you know that women actually read the headline of your profile before they decide whether or not to open it?

Seriously, that headline that you wrote.
You know the one...
"Insert Clever Headline Here"

Yeah, here's the truth...
The headline is important. If it is interesting, clever, funny, or stands out from the crowd, she might read your profile. If it is lame, boring, or she's seen it a hundred times that day... IT SUCKS.

"Insert clever headline here," sucks. But it isn't alone. Here's a few other choice terrible headlines that will guarantee she will never read your profile.
"Love to laugh" - right, cause who doesn't?
"Looking for someone special" - again, who isn't?
"Don't know what to put here" - wow, not smart enough to come up with a headline... jackpot.
"Will fill this in later" - ooh, lazy, that's sexy.
"Hello" - The most common headline, which makes it the worst.

You'll find the other 15 worst headlines in the book. Once you see them, you'll recognize how bad they are.

Instead, try one of the following:
"SOS - - Stranded on desert island - - Bring beer and women!"
"Would you rub the tummy of a purring lion?"
"First we take (your city)... THEN THE WORLD!"

There are dozens more in the Online Casanova book, but try one of those for now. It's a hell of a lot better than "Clever Headline #25246"