How To Act Online And On A Date

“Hi Dylan
I bought your book and it is unlike any online dating book I’ve read. You actually teach people stuff instead of dishing the same old crap like “comment on something in her profile” and “talk about your likes.” I’ve only started using the tips from the first 4 chapters and it’s made a huge difference in my online dating game.
One question... how do I act on a date?” J.H.

Hey JH! Glad you are getting some serious use out of the book. I built it to teach people a system to actually attract people while online dating and didn’t just compile a bunch of tips. Keep applying it, your results are just going to keep going up and up!

To answer your question (this is actually covered in the 2nd last chapter of the book), you need to act on a date exactly the same way that you “behave” online. If you are a cocky and playful guy online, you’d better be that way in real life. If you are a cool, mellow guy online, you’d better be that guy in real life. Remember, if you aren’t the same guy you presented yourself as, she’s going to be disappointed and feel cheated. And if she feels cheated, in her mind the date is already over.

So this comes down to a little lesson in self awareness and honesty. Don’t present yourself online as anything but who you really are. Sure, you want to present the SEXIEST parts of who you are... but don’t fake being anything you aren’t.

For example: yes, you could write the most dead sexy James Bond meets Han Solo profile any girl’s ever read... but it wouldn’t do any good because as soon as you got that girl on a date, she’d realize you were full of shit. Once her trust was broken, it’d be a huge battle to win it back. Remember how honesty is one of the top traits that women like?

You make two impressions on a girl, the first impression with your online profile/first email, and the second impression when you meet on a first date. The second impression has to reinforce everything that she got from the first impression. This is one of the big reasons so many guys never get past the first date with a girl they met online.

So there’s your answer. Be who you really are, both online and in real life, just put the sexiest parts forward first.

Cheers!

Dylan Alexander

PS. If you haven’t gotten a copy of Online Casanova, you can find it here:
http://www.onlinecasanova.com/

Attack Of The Stuck Up Princesses

(Disclaimer: The girl on the left is in no way a stuck up princess. She's a very nice, very kind person who does a lot of work for charities... She just looks like a stuck up princess in the photo. Purely a coincidence to the headline!

A friend of mine asked me to review his online dating profile and asked what he was doing wrong... because the only girls that seemed to reply to him were stuck up princesses.

I answered instantly.
“If the girls you are getting are stuck up princesses... it’s because you are coming off as a stuck up prince.”

Here’s today’s online dating tip:
You Get What You Give.

If you write an online dating profile that is confident to the point it borders on arrogance...
If you write in a sense that places you on a pedestal above average men...
If you focus specifically on what a high value man you are...
If you are just a Prince without the Charming...
...You are going to get stuck up princesses.

Why?

Because people are attracted to that which they see in themselves!

So how do you attract the type of woman you want? Here’s a big mistake a lot of people make, they’ll write a shopping list something like the following in their profiles:
“I’m looking for a fun, 20-30 year old blonde, curvy but athletic, who is easy going and loves music.”

I can guarantee you one thing... No girl EVER reads a profile and says “oh my god, I’m a fun 20-30 year old blonde, curvy but athletic, easy going, and I love music! Holy shit, I’d better email this guy right away! I’m exactly what he is looking for!”

The truth is, no one cares about what YOU are looking for, they only care what THEY are looking for! The stuck up princess doesn’t read your shopping list about wanting a girl that’s fun and loves music! They are just naturally attracted to the stuck up prince because it is a mirror of who they are themselves!

So how do you get the person you really want?

First, you need a real dose of honestly about yourself. Who are you really, behind all the BS and macho factor? What do you love in life, what are your true passions? What are your critical values in life? What does your sense of humor get the best laughs at?

These are the things you need to write about in order to get the woman THAT IS THE RIGHT MATCH FOR YOU! When she reads you profile, she will see herself reflected in your words and be attracted to that. The more true to yourself you are in your profile, the more good matches you will find.

Now, there could be the possibility that you want to attract a completely different type of woman, just for the fun of it. To do that, you first have to analyze what that girl would see as her most important/attractive traits, and then you write about those things in yourself. So if you want to attract a young, fun party girl, you want to talk about the young/fun/party aspects of your life. If you want to meet the corporate/executive minded woman, you need to bring out similar aspects of your life. If you want to meet a free spirited hippy type girl, you need to... well, you get the idea.

Ultimately, just make sure you understand that if you present anything other than who you really are, you are BSing yourself and lying to her. It’s just another form of manipulation. Sure, you can get results... until you go on a date with her and she realizes you aren’t who she thought you were. But then again, I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to tell you how it works!

So if you aren’t getting the type of women who are well matched to you, take a serious look at your profile and ask yourself... “Is this really me?”

Happy Dating!

Dylan Alexander

PS. You can of course find more articles, advice, AND MY BOOK (hint hint!) on my website:
http://www.onlinecasanova.com/

Welcome to 2008! A new mindset for a new year...

Happy New Years!

So, it’s New Years day and I’m stuck sitting here (at 8am, slightly hung over) trying to come up with something profound that will help you set a great pace for a new year of dating. So, here it goes...

I talk to a lot of people about dating, both virtual and real, and eventually the topic of horror stories always comes up. No matter what the topic, we all love to share horror stories like soldiers in the trenches. It is really a bonding ritual between people (you show me your scars, I’ll show you mine, etc...) And you’d think with being a guy who has done a fair share of dating, I’d have a lot of horror stories to tell... But the truth is...

...I don't have any!

Straight up, it’s true. I have never had a bad date... EVER.
And yes, this includes girls I’ve met through online dating!

Most people I tell that to think that I’m full of it, and you may as well, so let me explain. Have I ever had dates with a girl I met online, where she showed up and was 40lbs heavier than her picture, or 10 years older than she claimed to be, or she just wasn’t as much of a conversationalist as she was in email?
Yes...
But that has nothing to do with having a bad date!

See, when I go on a date, I go with two thoughts:

1) I’m going to have fun, with or without the girl.
2) I have no expectations of any outcome.

Big girl, little girl, old girl, young girl, I don’t care if she’s mislead me in her profile, because I expect NOTHING from her, or the date, more than simply to share some laughs. All I’m doing is showing up to meet a new friend!

Now, I’m not saying I haven’t been a little bit disappointed in some of the dates, but I get over it quickly by just going over in my head that I’m here to have a good time, not to get anything from the girl. If it turns out we have great chemistry, awesome! If we don’t, that’s OK too, because she’s still a person that I can have fun with, make laugh, and walk away from with a smile.

So...
I haven’t told you the best part yet...
This mindset is CRAZY ATTRACTIVE to women! All women!

Think about it... A guy who is fun and has a good time no matter what, combined with the confidence of not seeking to gain anything from her? Women respect and value that, as it is a rare trait among men. When it comes to the girls you really want, be the guy who doesn’t need her, but instead seeks to brighten her day (both your days, actually). While she may or may not ask you back to her place for drinks that night, she will definitely not forget you when you ask her out for a second date!

Once you start bringing that attitude on dates with gorgeous women who you are really interested in, your results will start to skyrocket... and best of all... you’ll never have a bad date again!

So, think about this for a while, let it set it, and picture the advantages it gives you. Start your 2008 with this in your head:

HAVE FUN!
DON'T BE ATTACHED TO AN OUTCOME!

And I pretty much guarantee you’ll have a much better dating season!

Cheers!

Dylan Alexander

PS. The Online Casanova book is finally available for sale! Some website troubles and last minute revisions caused a few delays, but you can now get it through my main website! As a New Years bonus, you can get $10 off using the following code: xk120
http://www.onlinecasanova.com/

Check out the Online Dating Aptitude Quiz, or go right to the Products page at the bottom to buy the book. It's the perfect way to kick off a new year of online dating!

What Women Need - Inspired by Craigslist daters

This post was inspired By Craigslist

Last night, I was browsing the local Craigslist dating forum, and there were a few posts ranting back and forth about the problem with women, and how they only want guys with money, and how they are all princesses.

It occurred to me that in this day of instant information, guys still haven’t answered the question...

What do women REALLY want?

What do women NEED that eclipses money or power?
Oh, I’ll tell you.
But first, tough love time...

So you don’t have a girl.
It isn’t because you don’t have the money to spoil her.
It isn’t because you aren’t a famous actor or a rock star.
It isn’t because you don’t ride a Harley or have the body of an Adonis.

Those are just excuses you give yourself to make it OK for your ego to survive without the success that you want. But it’s BS, and I don’t trade in BS, so forget those excuses.

The truth is...
You don’t have a girl because you don’t create *emotional connections* with women!
All women respond to the one thing over looks, power, wealth, fame... They respond to a guy who can make them laugh, make them cry, make them feel bliss in every bone of their body, make them scream and rage, make them swoon and purr. A guy who knows her heart, and how to make it tick, will never be short of women.

All you need to do, is to make her feel.
But you don’t.
You dial yourself down.
You make her comfortable.
You turn off your sexuality.
You be her friend.
You be... nice.
And you wonder why that ugly jerk has a hot girlfriend and you don't? Because that jerk can give her the emotional connection she needs, and you, Mr. Nice, can only make her feel safe. She doesn't want safety and comfort, she wants a friggen emotional roller coaster! So when you are writing a profile, don’t turn yourself down! Instead, crank it up to 11! Write a funny profile, write passionately about everything in your life, talk about adventures and danger... You have nothing to lose.

Have a good week!

Dylan

PS. Note, don’t talk about sex in your emails and especially in your profile. It’s a huge red flag for women, trust me! You want sensuality, not sexuality. I’ll talk more about that one later though, but for now, don’t even mention sex.

PPS. There will be examples of what I’ve just talked about in the Online Casanova book. I’m hoping to have it out by the end of the week.

The most common reason you flunk a first date

So... Why do online relationships fizzle when you move them into the real world?

You both met online, been very interested in each other, and decide that you must meet in person.

And when you do... there is nothing. No chemistry, no attraction, and no interest. It is like this woman is completely different than the girl that you met online...

And she thinks exactly the same thing about you.

What you have to remember is that the attraction and trust that you build online is, like everything else on the internet, a carefully crafted illusion. When you create your dating profile, you are creating an optimized representation of yourself. You then tweak and twist each email to make her as interested as possible, and then decide to go out on a date.

But sometimes you go too far.

Many men and women go crazy with the power that creating an ideal self-portrait allows them, and their profiles become a distorted view of their actual selves. When they show up in person, they appear a total stranger compared to the person that their date got familiar with over the internet.

She feels mislead, and things go poorly.

If you want to take an online relationship into the real world, you need to be congruent. Your online personality has to be an accurate reflection of your real life personality. The person she meets on a date has to be the same person that she fell for online.

There is no “cheat” or shortcut for this, as she will always figure out that you aren’t who you pretended to be. So keep congruent to your real life personality, and when she meets you in person, she will be delighted to learn that you are indeed the same person that she met online. Besides, you want her to fall in love with you for who you are, not for some fake internet character.

This is a sore point for many women, as they get lied to by men all the time. Every girl who dates online has dozens of examples of guys who show up for the date and are completely different than who they appeared to be online. Just by being the same guy, she will appreciate you even more!

Be yourself (granted, the most interesting and attractive parts of yourself) and the chemistry that you build online will translate into real life.

Ciao!

Dylan