Bad Online Dating Profile Reviews

Bad Online Dating Profile Reviews...
...I keep getting forwarded links to bad online dating profiles by people who think they are funny. Sure, some are godawful, but others offer great learning experiences.

Today I'm going to dissect one, which has been sent to me a few times (hi Sharlyne!)

I'm not going to post the whole profile here, it's too big. Instead, I'll just piece by piece it. Here's a link to the original:
http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/m4w/673674646.html

The guy actually put a lot of time and effort into his profile. The problem is, he doesn't see how women see it. If he did, he'd do a whole lot of cutting.

Problem 1:
What if you could meet a guy with a secure government job and perfect kids?

First, this isn't a hook to open your profile with. It shows he doesn't know women or understand what they are looking for... Women don't care about a guy having a gov't job (unless it is political maybe), and generally aren't looking for a guy with kids unless they have some themselves. Although he pitches it nicely, this doesn't add any value to his profile.

Problem 2:
I attended my ex-wife’s cake ceremony at AA and shook her boyfriend’s hand.

This is a big red flag for women... did he drive her to drink?? No, probably not, but why put this in? First, never talk about an ex in your profile, it only lowers your value (unless it was Madonna), secondly, never talk about addictions... even if they aren't yours. This scares people! Third... why does the reader care about being friends with the ex's boyfriend? This is just dragging more baggage into a relationship that doesn't exist yet.

Problem 3:
I don’t like PG’s so I sleep in my birthday suit instead.

This is creepy. There's detail... and there's TOO MUCH detail. I showed this to several women, and all of them said that this was the point they'd stop reading.

Problem 4:
Four years of the preceding routine at the same address and it’s still all good.

The problem with this statement, is that the paragraph it references is all boring, mundane, day to day grind. Is selling 4 years of work, home, cook, clean, bed, do it over... a good thing? No, women want excitement, romance and adventure. Not the daily grind they are already living.

Problem 5:
One tiny gold earring and neck chain adorn my toned body.

This reminds me of something I read in "Penthouse Forum." Great in a romance novel? Maybe. Not so good in a profile. Creating images IS important, but you better make sure they aren't cheesy.

Problem 6:
My esthetician takes care of my hands and feet and other places in between.

Umm... WHAT THE HELL??? Is the esthetician giving "happy endings"? If this creeps me out, it will definitely send women running. Also... being "metro" and having an esthetician is just too girly these days. A few years ago, maybe. I do my nails with my Leatherman Charge or just scrape 'em off against a brick wall while I walk.

Problem 7:
I prefer to go to Safeway in January with bare feet and sandals because my feet don’t get cold.

This just screams "I'm weird." There's such a thing as too honest.

And there you go. Seven big red flags in his profile. I could dissect it more, but those are the deal breakers for most women. The guy isn't bad looking, although he could use a "cleaner" photo. I tried emailing him twice to give him some personal feedback, but it bounced. Well, maybe he'll stumble across this blog.

Anyway...
...don't make these mistakes!

Happy dating!

Dylan Alexander

PS. Everyone of these mistakes are covered in Online Casanova! Check it out:
http://www.onlinecasanova.com/